Why You Shouldn’t Deactivate Your Facebook

posted in: Uncategorized | 21

12.16.11

The cosmic battle of deactivating or keeping facebook has gone on for generations, or at least several years. I’ve seen many a good friend deactivate and later reactivate facebook. Scores of articles, blog posts, and wars have been fought on the issue.

 

But you should not deactivate your facebook.

 

Facebook isn’t your enemy. Your enemies are actually your ‘friends’. When I had 1000+ friends on facebook, it was a constant battle of sifting through silly vacation photos, awful status updates about the latest bowel movement and horoscope meanderings. After aggressively chopping that list to people who lead engaged and thoughtful lives, my facebook news feed has drastically changed. Now I log into facebook to find engaged social commentaries, controversial news and articles, and dare I even say thoughtful status updates.

 


I once heard an old southern baptist preacher say, “show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”. His context may have been different, but consider the truth.

 

Your facebook is a waste of time because of the company you keep. This should go without saying, but I will say it. Perhaps apply this to your non-internet life as well. You shouldn’t deactivate your facebook. You should deactivate your ‘friends’.

 

If they’re not pushing you forward, they’re keeping you behind.

 


 

 

21 Responses

  1. I used to spend a lot of time thinking carefully when I got a friend request: do I really want this person to be a friend on facebook? Are they really a friend?

    It took too long. Now I just accept all of them, and hide anyone that says boring stuff in my timeline. This is easy, time-saving and effective. If I do log-on, I almost always see something funny or thought-provoking.

  2. This post rang very true with me. I recently cut my list of ‘friends’ from over 400 to just under 200. It felt so good to get rid of the people who I was ‘friends’ with just because I’d met them once, or I went to school with them but never actually spoke to them at the time. I asked myself a question for each person: If I saw you in the street, would I say hello to you? Believe it or not, there were lots of people on my old list who I didn’t think I’d say hello to in the street, yet they were privy to some of my personal thoughts and information online.

    Now I just need to pluck up the courage to ask another question for each person on my list: If I saw you in the street, would I stop to have a conversation with you?

    • Rebecca, those are great points! I often do the “if I was in your town, would I want to meet up and see you.” that really does help me to find mental clarity. I like your perspective too.

  3. Too late. 🙂

    Couldn’t agree more with the larger truth, though.

  4. So funny that you post this today as I have plans to close my account later today (and have been ‘preparing’ for this by gathering phone numbers and emails of certain people I still want to be in touch with.

    I do agree with you that Facebook is a much better tool when you sift though your list and keep people who create intelligent dialogue. I also agree that the company you keep determines how you use your time. In that respect, most of the people I am close with either do not use Facebook, or do not use it in an intelligent way and have no benefit to our friendship online. I find that I interact with people better when I’m not on Facebook.

    That said, I’ll be one of those people without a Facebook (again) soon!

    • Well Laura, I hope purging Facebook from your life will give you good space! Just be careful not to fill it with a different lifeblood suck.

  5. Every single one of my friends who deactivated their facebook page has reactivated it except for one.

    I’m with you. I like facebook and it’s not facebook who is the enemy its the friends and our own doing that makes it turn EVIL.

    I mainly use it to keep up with true friends and my family who are all in Quebec and other misc people i actually care about. On the flip side i do accept friendships from acquaintances but if i find that they are just clogging up my news feed i suppress them and just concentrate on the friends i care about.

    My husband is very discriminating and he only accepts true friend requests. He doesn’t except a friend request just because someone worked with him. He even refused my friend request. His reasoning was “why should i, we are married and i can get an update from you face to face. ” i threatened divorce and said it just didn’t look good and he finally succumbed to my wishes.

    Good points as always David. i have no idea how you got so wise at such a young age.

  6. Oh Facebook. We have a love-hate relationship. I just went through and deleted people that I don’t really talk too. I figure if we don’t talk… Do I really need to know what you are doing on your free time? I think Facebook has become an obsession for a lot of people, including me at times. I see it ruining relationships around me and I just hope down the road it does not have these negative effects on me. I have deactived my facebook, reactived it, deactivated it. It’s like having another boyfriend. Ha!

    I want to figure out the best way to use it but there is such a large Internet outlet that I think it creates a challenge on how to manage the Internet life.

    Time will tell how the Internet will change our generation….

    • Meg, it seems we are on the same page, or at least in the same chapter. Anything can be petty and time wasting, but changing my perspective on it has been damn helpful.

  7. […] Why You Shouldn’t Deactivate Your Facebook – Excellent points about Facebook that can be applied to social media and relationships in general. […]

  8. Mike Hupfer

    I deleted my account back in September and haven’t missed. I do see your point about chosing friends carefully, which is why I slowly paired down my friends from about 330 to about 20. But the 20 who were left were people I interacted in other ways on a regular basis. So I left facebook. It wasn’t an easy move, but I have no regrets.

  9. I used to have two accounts, one for my blog and the other as a personal acct. I actually deleted the personal page not too long ago simply because I didn’t use it. When I first started it was mainly to catch up with what old high school friends had been up to that last 20 years. Once that catching up was done I realized there wasn’t much interest in any of their daily activities. I’m glad I deleted my personal acct I haven’t missed it at all.

  10. Yes, I hide people who waste my news feed. That’s how simple it is.

  11. i was actually thinking of not deactivating, but majorly majorly cutting down my friend’s list. decluttering. i think i tend to be less engaged and post less if i have more followers because i don’t REALLY know them. my 450+ friends more than half of them i haven’t even met. it’s so annoying! people just keep adding me though and most the contacts are from my boyfriend.. bleh. i’m such a recluse with no social life.. 😛

  12. Just to be clear, I meant “too late, we already deactivated our Facebook account.”

    Hope you had a wonderful holiday season!

  13. […] down and surrounding yourselves with other creative folks will help you. Remember, show me your friends and I’ll show you your […]

  14. Funny, after leaving Facebook seven months ago and writing about why I didn’t like it, I found myself reactivating my account this month out of curiosity. I immediately deleted half of the people (they thought I was closed, so they probably wouldn’t notice if I had just removed them) and found my wall feed to be much more engaging and filled with people I actually cared about. Now, as I’m contemplating closing it again (my curiosity has been satisfied), you share this post again and have me re-thinking deactivation…

    • Facebook is a tool. You can use a hammer to build a house or you can use it to smash someone’s face in. You can also use it for a toothpick, but it’s really up to you. I say keep it, but use it in a way that actually benefits you!

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